


Treat Your Darlings Nicely

by talesofsymphoniac



Category: The Death Gate Cycle - Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe, Basically every fluff tag I can find, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Family, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Friendship, Gen, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Multi, One Shot Collection, Parenthood, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Romance, Time Travel, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2019-07-29 04:48:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16256987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesofsymphoniac/pseuds/talesofsymphoniac
Summary: A collection of fluffy Haplo/Alfred-ish ficlets for the sake of fluff (also some Haplo/Marit and Haplo/Marit/Alfred). Absolutely zero plot beyond that. You've heard of killing your darlings, now get ready for shoving them all in a corner together and hoping for the best.(Individual chapter summaries in the notes because it got too long)





	1. The 101 Dalmations AU

**Author's Note:**

> This basically exists because I like to write very pointless fluffy things that don't really go well as stories on their own, but I thought that if anyone else has a sweet tooth like me they might enjoy them as well. I definitely have more of these kinds of things laying around, so I'll probably add to this in the future, too.  
> Also I kinda just wanted to prove that I am, in fact, alive while I'm caught between school stuff and working on Fragments, haha.  
> Chapter Descriptions:  
> 1\. Haplo's dog takes the liberty of introducing his master to a new friend. (Modern AU)  
> 2\. A sleepy morning with Alfred, Haplo, and Marit. (Post-canon, friendship/pre-relationship)  
> 3\. Haplo visits Alfred and Balthazar at the library. (Post-canon, established relationship)  
> 4\. Alfred and Haplo jump back in time and interact with their own past selves during Fire Sea. (Time travel AU)  
> 5\. Alfred and Haplo and cuddling. (Post-canon, established relationship)  
> 6\. Alfred, Haplo, and Marit meet Rue, their first daughter of many. (Post-canon, Gen/Family)  
> 7: Compersion: Alfred teaches Marit to dance, and Haplo is happy to watch them. (Post-canon, Alfred & Marit)  
> 8\. Alfred's POV on the conversation between Haplo and "the dragon" in the catacombs of Abarrach in my other fic, Fragments.  
> 9\. Haplo, a demon, and Alfred, an angel, realize that Armageddon is upon them. (Good Omens Fusion)  
> 10\. Marit and Haplo have a moment to rest after Death's Gate closes. (Post-canon, coda, Haplo/Marit)  
> 11\. The trio adopts a baby. (Post-canon, Family)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haplo's dog takes the liberty of introducing his master to a new friend. (AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, you know that scene at the beginning of 101 Dalmations?  
> ...Yeah. I couldn't resist.
> 
> Additional Tags:  
> POV Dog  
> Meet Cute  
> Alternate Universe-- Modern Setting

Haplo’s dog was bored.

Not just in a normal, day-to-day sort of sense, though truth be told he was feeling a bit restless, his master having forgotten about their usual morning walk. No, the dog was bored by a much broader definition.

There was no reason for it, really. Having just moved into a new home, the dog should have been intensely interested in the new space and especially all the new smells around them. He had been, at first, but Haplo seemed to prefer to stay inside as much as possible, which left few opportunities for exploration.

He wasn’t usually like this. In their old home, Haplo had spent much of his time outdoors, and he took the dog with him more often than not. And so the dog determined that his master must simply need a little help getting adjusted to their new surroundings.

If that plan just so happened to coincide with the dog’s eagerness to take a walk, himself, well, that was just a happy coincidence.

So the dog parked himself impatiently at the front door, scratching and barking until his master had no choice but to come and take him out. Haplo looked, at first, like he might scold the dog for making such a racket, but one look at his pleading eyes and he seemed to remember the walk they had not taken this morning.

“Alright, alright,” was the final word on the matter, and his master left to get the leash.

The leash was an unfortunate part of the proceedings. The last place they had lived, no one had ever cared whether the dog was leashed, because everyone knew him as the absolutely model citizen he was. Here, though, Haplo had already been bothered several times about the dog’s lack of said leash, and while his master may have hated bothering with it, it seemed he hated dealing with neighborhood busybodies even more, because he had finally relented and started using it. On good days, they would go out farther out into the hillside where there were no other humans, and then Haplo would take off the leash, and the dog would spend hours running about. Lately, though, good days were coming fewer and farther in between.

Which brought the dog back to his mission. There must be something he could do to cheer his master up, give him something to do aside from moping indoors all day. He kept a sharp eye (and nose) out as they stepped outside their door, headed towards the nearby park.

They had been here, before. It was nothing special, just a large grassy area in the middle of all the houses with paths meandering through it. It was never crowded, exactly, but there were usually a few people from neighboring buildings around. There were children playing games, like the girl who would giggle and whisper with her friends whenever they passed, or the rude little boy who had been so fond of the dog that he had tried to convince Haplo to give him away. Then there were older ones, like the two who sometimes held hands as they strolled through the paths and sometimes hurt the dog’s ears with their yelling, depending on the day.

But the dog wasn’t looking for any of them. He was looking for someone else, someone whose company his master might actually enjoy, for once.

It was then that the dog saw just the man he was hoping to see. He had just turned a corner around the small pond ahead of them, arms burdened with a stack of books tall enough to reach his chin.

The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. The dog had seen this man, before: his master had left him in the front yard, one day, and through a strange sequence of events that was absolutely not the fault of the dog, his head had ended up slightly stuck between the ground and the bottom of the fence.

He could certainly have managed to get out on his own, but then the man had wandered by on his way home and, seeing the dog, had looked around a moment before kneeling down beside the fence and guiding the dog’s head back to his own yard. With a smile and a few minutes of ear-scratches through the fence, the man had left.

It seemed to the dog that such a man could be a very nice friend indeed. He was nice to dogs, at least, which was surely a point in his favor. And he seemed to like looking at those books, which his master had been doing a lot of recently, so they had that in common already. And perhaps this man shared the same loneliness as his master, too.

Of course, left to his own devices, Haplo would never think to strike up a conversation. And so this, like all important things, was left to the dog to figure out.

The dog knew what he had to do.

Barking playfully, he began to walk faster, tugging his master behind him and ignoring his calls until they were close to a run. Their path brought them closer to the man with the books, who turned to see what the barking and running was about.

“What’s gotten into you today?” Haplo said, frustrated, and again the dog ignored him. Excitedly, the dog jumped up on the man, causing him to stumble backwards. Seeing this, the dog jumped down again, running around to the man’s other side, which had the unfortunate result of wrapping the leash that Haplo held around two sets of ankles, sending the man stumbling in the other direction to correct himself.

“Oh, my-- ah!” The man attempted to step away again, but the dog’s movement only wrapped the leash tighter around their ankles, forcing him to fall towards Haplo, instead. His master grabbed at the man’s arm in an effort to keep them from falling over immediately, but it was a futile effort; a split second of struggling found the pair of them toppling, books falling out of the man’s hands as he tried and failed to hold onto them, and of course as luck would have it, the man’s pulling managed to guide them directly in the direction of the pond. The dog was pulled aside, too, as they fell barking as the three of them splashed directly into the cold water.

“I’m so sorry, are you alright? Here--” The man tried to stand, only for the dog to feel another sharp tug at his neck and see the man trip over his leash once again, sending him splashing into the water a second time. Fortunately, the pond wasn’t especially deep near the edges, and the man caught himself on his hands and knees, and as he looked down into the shallow water, he noticed his books, most of which now resided on the muddy floor of the pond.

“Oh, dear…”

Haplo had already stood up, stepping out of the water and scowling at his shoes, which were already soaked through with pond water. Meanwhile, the other man was gingerly picking himself up, as if fearful he might fall again. Carefully, he leaned down to fish each of his books from the bottom of the pond. “I just bought them, too…” the dog heard him sigh beneath his breath.

“This one didn’t fall in,” Haplo said, bending down to pick up the one one book that had managed not to fall directly into the water.

“Oh, thank you-- oh.” Flustered, the man had turned to accept Haplo’s offered book, only to realize that his hands were already full carrying the books he’d fished out of the pond. A moment of confusion, and then the man reached out with one hand, awkwardly attempting to shift the books into his chest so he could take it.

“I’ve got it,” Haplo said quickly, because it was clear to both of them that this man barely had the balance to handle the books he was already holding.

The two of them made for a nearby park bench, where the stranger set his soaking wet books, halfheartedly trying to dry them off somewhat as he did so. It was a hopeless task, and his master said nothing, merely setting down the one dry book at a corner of the bench.

“Thank you,” the man said, and then sighed, looking at the waterlogged books scattered in front of them and then to Haplo, who was just as soaked. “I’m so sorry,” he said again, miserable.

“It’s not like it was your fault,” Haplo said, casting a sharp look at the dog, who was busy shaking himself off, casting more droplets in all directions. The dog looked up innocently, and Haplo rolled his eyes. “Anyway, you’re the one whose books got ruined.”

The dog did feel a bit bad about that, actually. Not about the books themselves, which he had very little use for, but the man did seem rather upset. Haplo paused, and the dog could tell he was struggling with something, and then he added, reluctantly: “Are you going to need to replace them? I could…”

“Oh,” the man interrupted, looking surprised and a bit embarrassed. “Oh, no, I couldn’t ask you to do that. They’re… they’re not exactly cheap.” This smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, and once again the dog felt a hint of guilt. He nudged his nose apologetically against the man’s hand.

“I do appreciate it, though,” the man added, looking at the books again, and now he seemed more determined. “I might still be able to save them.”

Pleased to see the man in happier spirits, the dog licked at his hand, and at this the man finally seemed to notice his greetings. “Oh, hello there,” he said cheerfully, patting him on the head and giving him a scratch to the ears.

“No need to look so pleased with yourself, boy,” Haplo grumbled. The dog wagged his tail a little jauntier just to show what he thought of _that_.

That made the man chuckle a little under his breath. “Well, he was just being a dog, after all,” the man replied, still petting him softly. Just as the dog suspected, this man was a good choice. Now, if only Haplo would work with him on this. “What’s his name?”

“He doesn’t have one,” Haplo said with a shrug.

“You didn’t give him a name?” The dog was long used to this peculiarity in most humans. They thought themselves so clever, and yet they couldn’t even remember which human was which without giving each of them their own name.

“He certainly doesn’t seem to care,” his master replied, reaching down to scruff at his ears. “Do you, dog?”

The dog yipped happily by way of an answer.

The other man watched them, a pleasant smile growing on his face. “I suppose not,” he agreed, and then turned his gaze up from the dog to his master’s face. “Do _you_ have a name, then?”

The man’s eyes were bright and kind, and the dog once again commended himself on his excellent choice in humans. The dog didn’t always understand the nuances of human interaction, but he did know his master, and the slightest hesitation before his response-- a very eloquent “Uh, Haplo”-- told him that his master had noticed his excellent choice as well.

“Haplo,” the man echoed, apparently giving the name some thought. He stood up straighter, and now he spoke with some confidence: “It’s lovely to meet you, Haplo. I’m Alfred.”

Haplo inclined his head, but said nothing else, and an awkward silence settled. Only then did Alfred seem to realize that they were both still dripping. “Um, I live nearby, if you need somewhere to dry off?”

“No thanks,” Haplo said instantly, hardly giving it more than a second’s thought. Unhelpful as always, the dog thought, and voiced his annoyance with a reproachful bark. But it turned out not to matter, for when the two men turned to head back to their homes, they found themselves following the same path along the same direction.

Alfred smiled tentatively. “It looks like we’re walking together for a while.”

Much cheered, the dog trotted ahead, pleased to hear the conversation continuing behind him. All according to plan.


	2. The One Where They Wake Up Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sleepy morning with Alfred, Haplo, and Marit. (Post-canon, friendship/pre-relationship)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because what could be more fluffy than pre-established-relationship fluff plus waking up together fluff?
> 
> Additional Tags:  
> Post-Canon  
> Pre-relationship  
> Domestic Fluff  
> Waking Up Together

They’d spent some time resting, once they’d reached home, and even managed to summon the energy to clean the dirt and sweat from their clothes and bodies. Haplo and Marit had sat down beside him, and Alfred really had intended to go to his proper bed, but that would require him to stand up again, and he was so comfortable already...

So Alfred hadn’t even realized he’d fallen asleep until he drifted back into consciousness, slowly becoming aware of the warmth at his side and the sound of calm, deep breathing.

Reluctantly, he opened his eyes, realizing to his surprise that he was not the first one to wake. Next to him, Haplo’s eyes were open, fixed on some point above them, and Alfred’s first thought was that he looked more relaxed than Alfred could recall ever having seen him.

As if he sensed Alfred had awoken, Haplo turned his head to its side to meet Alfred’s gaze. Alfred wondered if he should say something, but nothing came to mind that would be worth breaking the hazy silence surrounding them. Haplo didn’t seem to mind this; his eyes were dark, still a bit glazed from sleep, and warm. Content, and something in Alfred was amazed at that, the idea that he was a part of this moment of closeness and affection. He drank it in, unable to tear himself from Haplo’s face, so open and unguarded, until Marit stirred beside them and he looked away quickly, expecting the moment to pass now they were all awake.

It didn’t. Marit hummed, uncurling from her ball to lean against Haplo’s side. Alfred’s eyes met hers, and Alfred saw her… not quite a smile, but close enough. She looked comfortable, content, and then she closed her eyes again, and Haplo followed close behind her, neither of them saying a word.

Alfred watched the pair of them for just a moment longer, memorizing, before shifting closer and allowing himself to fall asleep on purpose, this time.


	3. The One With Alfred And Balthazar At The Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haplo visits Alfred and Balthazar at the library. (Post-canon, established relationship)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some domestic established relationship-style fluff. For some reason I like the idea of Balthazar and Alfred bonding a lot while Balthazar's trying to figure out rune magic, and of course Marit is somewhat friendly with him after they hung out in Seventh Gate, and meanwhile Haplo's like "I don't really understand you but my partners like you so cool I guess."
> 
> Additional Tags:  
> Post-canon  
> Domestic Fluff

It was dark outside, by the time Haplo walked into the library, but once the door had closed behind him, it was almost impossible to tell the time of day. Every corner of the place was brightly lit with lamps along the walls and hanging from the ceilings.

Haplo walked through quickly, ignoring the shelves to either side of him and instead heading straight towards a small side room, where he knew by the familiar murmurings that he would find what he had been looking for.

“There you are.”

At the sound of Haplo’s voice, Alfred looked up from the piece of paper he and Balthazar were bent over. “Oh,” he said, glancing back quickly at the clock that sat on one of the study room’s shelves. 

“I told you so,” Balthazar said dryly, with not even a glance in Haplo’s direction. He was completely absorbed in the paper before him, his gaze intense and his fingers tracing over a shape, trying to memorize it.

“It’s your fault as much as mine,” Alfred said lightly, before turning back to Haplo, an apologetic smile on his face.

Haplo stepped further into the room to stand beside Alfred, looking down at the paper that the pair of them were so intent on. He recognized Alfred’s writing, and diagrams written out with the utmost care juxtaposed against hastily-scribbled words, including some in another scrawl that was undoubtedly Balthazar’s. 

Finally, Balthazar spared a moment to look at something besides the runes that he had spent so long poring over. He stood up, fingers still resting against the paper. “I assume you’re here to steal him away?”

There was a measure of bitterness in his voice, but that wasn’t unusual. It was always difficult for Haplo to tell if it came from genuine irritation at having his lessons in the art of rune magic interrupted, or if it was simply Balthazar’s nature.

Alfred never appeared bothered by his tone, though, and Haplo supposed that was good enough for him, so he just shrugged. “Not necessarily. Just making sure he didn’t fall asleep on you again.”

Balthazar let out a huff of breath-- not quite laughter-- at the reminder.

“I’m not that bad,” Alfred protested. 

Haplo glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, raising an eyebrow. “No?”

“Well…” he started, flushing. No doubt he was remembering the countless times he had fallen asleep here, including the times that he had to be half-carried back home. Those times were always highly amusing to Marit and left Alfred confused and embarrassed, but in the end, he always smiled reluctantly, as he did now. “I suppose I’m lucky to have you looking out for me, then.”

“I suppose so,” Haplo said vaguely. Alfred’s eyes lingered for a moment, soft and familiar, leaving Haplo pleasantly warm.

Balthazar made an audible scoffing noise, drawing Haplo’s attention away again. “Oh, just go already if you’re going to be like that,” he said, rolling his eyes. 

Haplo’s slight smile grew into a smirk while Alfred flushed, shaking his head. “Oh, hush,” he said, turning to collect his things, and despite a faint layer of embarrassment, he looked more than content.


	4. The Time Travel AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alfred and Haplo jump back in time and interact with their own past selves during Fire Sea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have an excuse for this? Not much context is needed here, really, just the fact that the idea of different versions of Haplo and Alfred interacting is super entertaining to me. I present to you one of the many interactions I've thought of concerning this concept. Enjoy!
> 
> Additional Tags:  
> Time Travel  
> Implied Relationships  
> Flirting  
> Intentionally Angering Your Past Self For Fun and Profit  
> Not Quite Crack But Not Quite Serious

Alfred wasn’t exactly the best at conversation, especially when he was this nervous.

It didn’t help that they were still in Abarrach for whatever reason, meaning his audience consisted not only of a younger version of himself and Haplo, but also a lazar, a corpse, and a grieving Jonathan.

And just his luck, he had a tendency to babble when he was nervous. Which is how he ended up straining for anything to say and making horrible small talk which only his own past self bothered to respond to, and in an equally awkward fashion, at that.

The younger Haplo didn’t seem to appreciate such conversation at all. He just brooded silently, as he had been doing for hours, now, since the older Alfred and his Haplo had arrived. Periodically, he would send vicious glares towards both of the Alfreds, though the older one was fairly certain it was he himself who had captured the bulk of this Haplo’s ire.

His own Haplo, sitting beside him on the ground where they’d stopped to sleep, had mostly been content to leave him to his floundering. He'd been quite pleased to see his old dog, whose head was currently in his lap for him to pet. He seemed to notice Alfred’s cringe, though, as the younger Patryn cast him yet another scowl.  _ Alfred… _

_ I know _ , Alfred thought miserably.  _ He hates me. I can’t help it, I don’t know what else to do. I think he hates me more than he hates the other me. _

Haplo considered.  _ You’re probably right about that.  _ When Alfred gave him a betrayed frown, he shrugged.  _ I’ve got your back, anyway. _

Alfred sighed, but found himself mostly appeased.  _ That does make me feel better, _ he said, trying for a smile.  _ Thank you, Haplo. _

“Anything you’d like to share with the rest of us?”

“Huh?” Alfred started, realizing that the younger Haplo was watching him and his Haplo intently. He didn’t look at all happy with what he saw.

“You know we can all tell when you’re doing that,” he snapped.

Alfred blushed. “Ah. I’m sorry--”

“Don’t apologize, Alfred.”

Both Alfreds were surprised to hear the older Haplo speak, and even more unexpectedly, he was staring his younger self down. The younger Haplo didn’t back down, meeting his elder self’s gaze with a glare of his own. The older Alfred clamped his mouth shut, recognizing a challenge when he saw it.

The older Haplo was the one to break the tension, an aggressively smug smile playing on his lips. “I was just telling Co-- that is, I was telling him that there’s no need to worry about you.”

The younger Haplo made no such pretense at friendliness. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” he snarled.

“Haplo!” Alfred’s younger self cried out, but neither Haplo paid him any attention, still too busy sizing the other up.

The older Haplo waved a nonchalant hand. “It’s fine, Alfred. He won’t make good on those words. I know him better than he knows himself.” The younger Haplo’s eyes flared with undisguised rage.

Alarmed, Alfred turned to his Haplo, who was smirking at his younger self with satisfaction. “Now you’re just intentionally riling him up,” Alfred scolded, his voice slightly quieter, as if it were possible for the other Haplo not to hear him. “Are you sure that’s wise?”

“I’m not riled up!”

When Haplo’s older self only laughed at his outburst, the younger one bit his lip, face still screwed up with anger. “We’ll rest here for a few hours,” he muttered, and then turned, probably to get as far away from the rest of them as he could without actually leaving them. The dog, looking reluctant, nevertheless stood up and dutifully went to attend to its master.

The older Haplo laughed again, earning him a disapproving look from both Alfreds.

_ You shouldn’t have done that. _

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

Alfred started, and his Haplo laughed. His younger self, having missed their synchronicity, merely looked confused. “Did I say something?”

Haplo’s eyes danced with mirth. “At least one of us hasn’t changed much, don’t you think, Coren?”

Both Alfreds blushed, which only made Haplo smile wider. He really was enjoying this too much, Alfred noted with some exasperation. “Perhaps it isn’t as obvious as it is with you,” he began, “but I should think--”

Haplo chuckled, waving a dismissive hand. “Don’t take it so seriously.” He turned to Alfred’s younger counterpart. “Sorry for that other me,” he said, a half-smile still on his face. “I get a little too much pleasure watching him struggle through this.”

The younger Alfred frowned, glancing down the tunnel where his own Haplo had fled. “It’s hard to blame him,” he said softly. “This is all so unbelievable, even for me. I can only imagine how Haplo feels right now.”

The older Alfred sighed, as well. “Sorry to cause such trouble. I wish we knew when we were going back. Or if we’re even going back, at all.” It was quite a conundrum, especially as apparently, time-traveling had interfered with their ability to perform magic.

“Nothing for it now but to get some rest,” Haplo said.

“Here,” the young Alfred said, and then, in what must have been a herculean effort, considering how exhausted Alfred remembered himself being at this moment, managed to summon a blanket. He handed it to the older Haplo, looking winded but pleased.

“You should conserve your energy,” Haplo said, but he took the blanket. Alfred noticed his fingers brushing slightly against those of his younger self as he did so. “Thank you, Coren,” he said, lingering over the name with a warm smile.

Of course. Alfred shook his head, seeing how his younger self had gone rather red, wringing his hands together, smiling shyly. “I… That’s a first, coming from Haplo! I mean, well, you’re quite welcome.” Haplo’s eyes, shining with amusement, had not left the younger Sartan’s, and it was only making the poor man more flustered. “I’ll just…”

“Really,” Alfred rebuked lightly, stepping in to save his younger self. “You’re taking advantage of both of them, now.”

Haplo only looked at him, smiling an innocent smile that Alfred instantly recognized, though his younger self could not have. “Are you feeling left out, Coren?”

Alfred felt his face heat. “Haplo!” he exclaimed, sounding more dismayed than he truly felt. Haplo only winked, damn him.

“I’m just going to go now,” he heard his younger self squeak out, not that he was paying much attention.

* * *

The younger Alfred did just as he said, running off with his eyes wide and his face burning, and okay they were  _ giggling _ back there, weren’t they, what the hell what the hell what the hell--

Not for the first time, he felt a surge of sympathy for Haplo. As intriguing as it may have been, glimpsing into the future certainly wasn't for the faint of heart.


	5. The One With Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alfred and Haplo and cuddling, because my soul needs it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These were both completely different oneshots, it just so happens that a disproportionate amount of the fluff I write is just... cuddling. So they're going together now.
> 
> Additional Tags:  
> Established Relationship  
> Cuddling & Snuggling (obviously)

Twilight sky darkened just slightly as what passed for night in the Nexus fell, and Alfred had already retired to bed. His attention was captured by the book resting in his lap. As he turned a page, though, he noticed another person entering the bedroom and quietly slipping next to him.

“No books in bed.”

The familiar voice roused him, drawing his attention from the pages for a moment. Alfred frowned. “That’s not a rule,” he said, glancing curiously beside him. “Since when is that a rule?”

Haplo’s lips turned up into a smile, and he shifted nearer. One arm slipped past the book Alfred held to wrap around his waist and pull them closer. More warmth, his chin resting against Alfred’s shoulder, and then Haplo’s nose was brushing against the skin beneath his ear.

“You’re making it a little difficult to focus, you know,” Alfred murmured, eyes falling shut.

“Yeah, that’d be a real shame,” Haplo mumbled against his skin, low voice tinged with amusement.

Haplo’s body was a pleasant heat against his side, and every touch seemed to flood that same warmth throughout Alfred’s body. There was no resisting such affection, and no use pretending that Alfred would ever want to.

With steady hands, he closed the book in his lap, setting it aside. He was rewarded with a pleased hum, the vibration against his neck making him shiver. A strong hand drifted up his side, brushing back and forth over the soft material of Alfred’s sleep clothes. Alfred turned to fit still more closely against Haplo, enjoying the lingering caresses for a moment.

Haplo’s cheek pressed into his shoulder and the soft fabric there, a simple gesture that filled Alfred with a deep rush of affection. He took a breath, reveling in the feeling.

“You know,” he said, “I can still make you one of these, if you like it so much.”

It was a conversation they’d had, before; Haplo and Marit had yet to be convinced of the concept of a set of clothing specifically for sleeping. It seemed Haplo wouldn’t come around to the idea now, either. “I think you’re missing the point of this,” he said, vaguely amused.

Alfred wasn’t, really, but he hummed curiously, anyway, gently threading his fingers through dark hair. “Am I?”

An affirmative noise was the only answer he received. Haplo had closed his eyes, his body beginning to relax the way it only ever did within the walls of their home. Alfred knew he was one of the few to see Haplo so peaceful, and it was something he treasured.

He smiled, knowing that he must look like a lovestruck fool, but... well. In any case, it was difficult to feel self-conscious about it when he was being so thoroughly cuddled.

Haplo must have caught something of his thoughts in his expression-- he always had had a talent for that. “What is it?”

“Oh, nothing,” Alfred said, and then, because he couldn’t resist: “You’re adorable.”

“What?” Haplo shifted, raising his eyebrows. Alfred merely smiled wider and shrugged.

“No I’m not,” Haplo protested, though he appeared more amused than anything.

Alfred hummed indulgently. “Of course not,” he agreed, kissing the top of Haplo’s head.

That seemed to satisfy Haplo, at least.

* * *

Alfred’s head rested on his chest, placed so he needed only to turn his head to touch his lips to Haplo’s jawline. His fingers drifted just as sweetly over Haplo’s arms, tracing the lines of the runes up his shoulders, down over the bare skin of his chest, and back again.

It was hardly surprising, how free with affection Alfred could become, the remaining dregs of his self-consciousness banished away in the glow of these moments. What had surprised Haplo was how much he enjoyed it.

Marit would have rolled her eyes at that. “Of course he likes being fawned over,” she’d told Alfred once, conspiratorially. Haplo had pretended to be offended, the effect ruined as he’d pulled her closer, and Alfred had simply watched, amused and content.

But Haplo hadn’t denied it, because it was nice to be touched like this, almost reverently, Alfred’s body warm against his own. More than that, it was nice to have Alfred at ease, secure enough to stop holding himself back as he so often had at first. Back then, Haplo had to instigate every touch, and each time, Alfred would startle a bit at first. It had taken Haplo some time to realize how Alfred craved any kind of affection, and longer still to see how much he restrained himself from returning it.

But that time had passed, and now Haplo smiled, closing his eyes. “Are you going to be done with that any time soon?”

Another brush of lips, just beneath his ear. “I don’t believe so, no,” Alfred mumbled, and he could hear the smile in it.

“You’re ridiculous,” he said, reaching to take the hand that skimmed past his collar bone, holding it against his skin.

Alfred’s hand turned in his own, gripping the tips of his fingers lightly and passing his thumb warmly over them. “You haven’t stopped me yet,” he pointed out with a small smile, pressing more kisses to the skin he could reach.

Haplo hummed with contentment, his senses still buzzing pleasantly. “I said you’re ridiculous, not that I want you to stop.”

Alfred lifted his head from its place on Haplo’s shoulder to press their lips together, an action that Haplo encouraged, his hand moving to Alfred’s cheek.

“I won’t, then,” Alfred breathed. Satisfied that they were in agreement, Haplo pulled him closer for another kiss.


	6. The One Where Haplo, Alfred, and Marit Meet Rue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alfred, Haplo, and Marit meet their first daughter of many. (Post-canon, Gen/Family)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have a few scattered ideas here and there about the OT3 finding and adopting Patryn kids, and I toyed with making them into their own story, but this one was the only one I ever ended up writing out, and I figured it fit here well enough. If you ever wanna ask me about my ideas of potential Patryn children they might have, though... ask away because I've thought about it a lot.

When Marit had first brought up the idea of having a child all those years ago-- a real question masquerading as a hypothetical-- there had been a moment in which Haplo had been undeniably drawn to the idea. Of course, the moment he realized what a child would entail, he had dismissed the idea. He would come to regret that instinct. 

Haplo had returned to the Labyrinth years later with a promise to find the child he'd left behind, but even then, the idea of actually raising children was in some ways nothing more than an abstract concept in his mind.

Then Marit had said the name. Rue. And suddenly the child had a face. A girl, both of their features blended in her own. 

They had many children, now, but perhaps it was destiny that it should have been Rue, first. 

Haplo had been the one to find her, just outside of the ruins of a Squatter village. The only survivor, a little slip of a thing, and she had been terrified to see him standing over her hiding place. 

He’d knelt down, trying to appear as unthreatening as possible and feeling more than a little clumsy at that. “Hey,” he’d said…

 

“There are others here,” he said. “Friends. I can take you to them.”

Two wide, brown eyes blinked, and then the girl pulled herself up, rising to her feet. The red glow of her runes didn’t vanish.

“I’m Haplo,” he said, pulling aside his shirt, showing the scarred rune that bore his name.

With a shaking hand and still-cautious eyes, the child repeated the gesture.

“Come on, then--” Haplo flicked his gaze down quickly, still struggling to be as reassuring as possible, and it was then that he had to do a double-take.

He swallowed. “Rue.”

He finally coaxed her back to their party of rescuers, where Alfred and Marit were waiting with the rest. Questions started pouring from Alfred’s mouth faster than Haplo could hope to answer them, but Haplo was focused on Marit, who was looking down at the girl appraisingly.

“I found her,” he explained uselessly. “Alone.” 

Marit nodded, waiting for him to get to the point.

He caught her eye, then. “Her name is Rue.”

Marit’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly, and her gaze snapped back down to the girl. Rue started, but met Marit’s eyes with a steely look of her own, as if to prove herself.

At last, Marit turned back to Haplo. “She looks, what, eight gates?” Matter-of-fact.  _ Not ours.  _

“Yeah,” he agreed.  _ Not ours.  _ Even now, they could understand each other without speaking.

Alfred stepped forward, carefully, so as not to frighten the girl who was still looking up at them so seriously, so quietly. And now Alfred, too, was looking at Haplo with an expression that stirred something in his soul, both knowing and understanding.

“We’ll take care of her,” he said. No question.  _ Ours. _


	7. Compersion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alfred teaches Marit to dance, and Haplo is happy to watch them. (Post-canon, Alfred & Marit)

Soft music filled their living room. Haplo sat back, pleasantly tired after a long day, content to watch the figures standing before him and listen to the simple strands of melody.

“We stand like this,” Alfred was saying. He stood in front of Marit, taking her hands. He placed one against his shoulder, then rested his free hand on her waist. Marit allowed the closeness with only the slightest downward twist of her lips to indicate her skepticism.

“And then you follow me, you see? I step forward, you step back.” Alfred demonstrated his words by stepping forward with his right foot, trying to prompt Marit to step back to make room for it. After a moment of confusion, she caught on, stumbling only slightly as she moved backwards.

Haplo watched the two of them struggle similarly through the next step Alfred tried to teach, and the next, until finally Marit caught on to the pattern of it. Their movements were stilted; Marit’s posture was stiff, and her steps weren’t quite to the beat the way Alfred’s were. Her eyebrows were furrowed, betraying how intently focused she had become on following Alfred’s movements without making a misstep.

Alfred didn’t seem to mind. Quite the opposite, Haplo saw him smiling as he patiently led Marit through each simple step. They had been talking about Arianus, that was what had started it; Alfred had been talking about the balls he had attended as Queen Anne’s chamberlain, how very rarely he’d allowed himself to steal a dance or two. Usually, Alfred turned a bit morose at any mention of his years serving the royal family. He’d been fond, this time, though, using the same tone he normally reserved for interesting tidbits he’d discovered in his latest research.

Marit had made an idle comment wondering about the appeal of dancing at all, and Alfred had replied with an offer to show her the basics. And to Haplo’s surprise, Marit hadn’t rejected him outright. She’d given the Sartan a look of vague uncertainty before shrugging, declaring she had nothing better to do, at the moment.

It wasn’t very like Marit. She had grown accustomed to Alfred’s distinctly non-Patryn behaviors in the past few months, but she never bothered taking much of an interest, herself. Maybe she had caught onto it, too, though: how Alfred had brightened at the mention of one of the few indulgences he’d allowed himself during those long, lonely years.

“I’m as clumsy at this as you usually are, Sartan,” she said humorlessly, as she once again made a step the wrong way and scrambled to readjust her footing.

Alfred retook the lead. “Maybe you’ll have some sympathy from now on, then,” he suggested with a knowing smile.

Marit sniffed. “Well, this is a bit harder than hopping a river, you realize.”

“Is it?” Alfred replied, cocking his head, and Marit snorted, a genuine smile beginning to appear on her lips. Alfred looked quite pleased with himself. “You’re doing just fine,” he reassured her, still guiding them both through the steps of the dance. “The only point is to enjoy yourself, anyway.”

Marit hummed. “Not really my idea of fun,” she said, “but I guess it’s not terrible.”

“This type of dance is mostly just for conversation, anyway,” Alfred allowed. “Look, you’re getting better already.”

“I’m just following you,” Marit said dismissively, though Haplo could see that Alfred was right; her moves were becoming more relaxed and rhythmic, following the music with a bit more grace, and she was stumbling less often.

“Which is exactly what you’re supposed to be doing,” Alfred pointed out.

Marit shrugged, turning her head away. Haplo could sense a tinge of embarrassment hiding in her expression. “Well, definitely don’t ask me to lead any time soon.”

Alfred tightened his hands in her own, closing his eyes as they swayed in time to the melody still sounding softly around them. “Not unless you’d like to,” he agreed.

Marit said nothing, allowing Alfred to pull the pair of them along. Haplo found himself enjoying merely watching them. He let his eyes drift, idly noticing things, like how Alfred was nearly a full head taller than Marit. How small her hand looked in his much larger one, the way she held his shoulder, and how his hand clasped gently around her waist. Alfred still had that small smile on his face, hardly seeming to notice anything outside the enclosed bubble of their dance, but Marit caught his eye over Alfred’s shoulder as they turned.

Full of affection for both of them, he smiled at her. A flash of understanding seemed to pass between them, the way it so often did, not so different from the brief bursts of connection when Alfred’s soul would reach out to his own.

Her lips curved into a fuller smile, and then the brief moment had passed. The pair of them kept turning, making little comments here and there, and Haplo watched over them, perfectly happy to do so.


	8. The Fragments POV Shift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set during the events of one of my other works, Fragments: Alfred's POV on the conversation between Haplo and "the dragon" in the catacombs of Abarrach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I reblogged an ask meme about WIPs, and my good friend requested a scene from [Fragments](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13214313/chapters/36986544) written from a different POV. Here's what I came up with.  
> If you aren't reading Fragments, basically the background here is that Haplo met Alfred as a dragon in the Labyrinth, and they're now traveling companions. The only problem is that Haplo doesn't know his dragon is actually a Sartan.

He had been one of the Sartan. One of many Sartan, in fact: a group who had seen the truth, a group that had banded together, intent on acting.

It was the right thing to do. He had no qualms about what needed to be done. He was sure of himself, and sure of his companions. It was a strength, that certainty.

Even so, their actions carried risks. He knew that, and he felt that last concern throughout the room as he listened to the lead Sartan speak.

Next to him, someone took his hand. He turned, seeing his friend’s face, handsome and full of resolve. His warm hand had squeezed Alfred’s own, reassuring. For his companion knew he had needed the reassurance. He knew him completely, and for once Alfred didn’t have to hide, not his lingering worries or the rush of affection for the man next to him.

He was whole. He was loved. He was strong.

Of course, it had been nothing but a dream. But it stuck with him, tempted him as the dog nuzzled him closer, keeping him warm in the dark stone catacombs.

After leaving the Chamber of the Damned, they had traveled through the Abarrach catacombs in silence, driven by horrible images of the lazar chasing them, intent on shedding the blood of any living creature they came into contact with.

They were difficult images for Alfred to forget, making him shiver against the cold stone wall when they finally collapsed, needing to rest. His eyes were closed; he may as well try to sleep, even if he wasn’t sure it would come, after what he had seen.

And then a voice called out, echoing tentatively in that place in his mind where a bond had formed. _Dragon?_

Alfred almost held the mental barrier between them shut, as he had been doing ever since he’d regained his Sartan shape. But something stopped him, this time.

 _If you’re there, answer me,_ Haplo continued, desperate in a way that Haplo never was.

It was that desperation, a mirror to his own terrible feeling of loneliness, that gave Alfred the strength to make a decision.

_I’m here, Haplo._

Haplo immediately began bombarding him with questions, but beyond that, Alfred felt palpable relief flooding their bond. And it was a relief to Alfred, too: to hear him, to feel this connection again, in spite of the dreadful events Haplo recounted. It was comforting to share them, to feel Haplo’s own fear and uncertainty and know he had been trusted with it. It was nice to feel together again, truly, without Haplo’s glaring and sneering.

Haplo wanted him there. He worried about him. He-- the dragon, Alfred, whoever he was, now-- wanted nothing more than to explain that he hadn’t left at all, that he was right there with him. He wished he could have walked right over and held him close, let them find comfort in each other’s real, physical presence. As it was, all he could do was hold onto the dog tighter, trying not to stir and alert to Haplo that he had only been feigning sleep.

He couldn’t reveal himself, and the knowledge ached, but he did everything else he could. Haplo’s steadiness had comforted him before, kept him sane, even, so it was nice to do the same for him, now. To not feel so alone as he had been.

When words had done all they could, they still held the connection open, both of them needing the familiarity of it. Quietly, Alfred nudged the dog out of his grasp, toward its true master. The dog did so, as if it, too, realized that it was needed elsewhere, now.

Alfred was fine, was able to drift off to sleep just like this, soaking in the comfort. He allowed himself to forget the scowls and sneers he knew he would get tomorrow, interacting with his Patryn as Alfred, again. Ignoring the parts of himself that he dared not reveal to Haplo.

Although. “Maybe when this is over,” he’d said to Haplo only moments ago, and he hadn’t meant to say it, but…

He thought of that strange, wonderful vision again. And he allowed himself to consider that maybe, someday, he would find that kind of strength within himself.


	9. The Good Omens Fusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haplo, a demon, and Alfred, an angel, realize that Armageddon is upon them. (Good Omens Fusion)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional Tags:  
> Good Omens Fusion  
> Alternate Universe-- Angels & Demons  
> Alcohol
> 
> So I told myself I wouldn't write this until I finished the next chapter of Fragments and then the Good Omens TV show came out and I. Couldn't not. Hopefully it still works decently even if you haven't read Good Omens, but I'll be honest, at this point I'm writing this for me and exactly one (1) other human on this planet, so. I wrote this in a day, now into the fluff trash pile it goes.

Haplo had never seen a more perfect sunny afternoon on earth, and he should know, having been around for each and every one of them.

The sun shone brightly, warm but not hot, and the park itself was picturesque: green, full of walking paths to meander through, trees to sit under and climb and children and their families to do the meandering and climbing. There was even a wide lake in the middle of the whole thing with ducks swimming over the surface. Haplo fit in perfectly well with the handful of other dog walkers taking advantage of the weather. Unfortunately, that meant people kept approaching him to pet the dog, especially groups of children, but Haplo sent them away just a bit more excitable than they had arrived, all the better to create some chaos for their already overtired parents. If there was one thing small children were good for, Haplo had learned, it was spreading a lot of low-grade mischief in a rather short time.

The dog whined, disappointed that Haplo was chasing his new friends away.

“You’re far too friendly for your own good,” Haplo scolded, rubbing his ears. “You know why we’re here.”

And speak of the devil-- or rather, the angel-- that was when Haplo spotted exactly who he was looking for. A tall, thin man (or man-shaped being, at least) was standing on the bridge over the lake, sporting a blue waistcoat that would no doubt have been much too warm for the day without the work of a minor miracle.

The dog, thrilled to see someone familiar, ran up to him. Alfred turned, greeting the dog with a friendly pat. Haplo shook his head, walking over to them.

“This had better be important,” he said.

Despite having seen his dog, Alfred still managed to look startled by the sound of Haplo’s voice, though he quickly relaxed into a tired smile.

“It’s good to see you, Haplo,” he said, giving the dog one last scratch to the ears.

Haplo considered saying something harsh in reply, but in the end he just sighed and sidled up to the angel. Alfred always had been too informal about these things, and there was something just a bit uncomfortable about that.

It certainly made Haplo’s life a lot easier, though. He and Alfred had developed an Understanding in the past millennia. He got to boast in his reports about what an ineffective Adversary Alfred was. There was no need to worry about him, Haplo had always maintained; Haplo had earth more than covered, from a demonic standpoint. So neither of them had to worry about actually fighting each other, and they could just get on with their business. The only risk was that Heaven might get word someday and think to replace Alfred with someone better, but Alfred had always seemed pretty sure that he would be the only angel given that dubious honor, and so far, he’d been right about that.

Of course, Alfred wasn’t actually a bad angel. He spread good everywhere he went like it was his job (which, in fairness, it actually was). He just wasn’t exactly as inclined towards smiting evil as an angel probably should have been. Haplo should know; that was exactly how they’d initially met, during that first rebellion, and exactly why Alfred had been demoted in the first place.

But he was at least a bad enough angel to cheerfully greet a hellhound in the park, and Haplo definitely preferred dealing with him than any of the others that might be sent if Alfred were ever to be recalled.

Overall, it was a decent setup. Too bad it couldn’t last.

“So what’s this all about, then?”

Alfred’s lips twisted into a sort of grimace. He turned back towards the lake, reaching into his pocket and pulling a handful of oats that Haplo was sure hadn’t been there a moment ago to throw out to the ducks below. “Well, I was hoping you could tell me, actually,” he said after a moment of brushing the last crumbs from his hands.

“What do you mean?” Haplo asked. A blatant lie, in that he knew perfectly well what Alfred was referring to.

“Samah visited yesterday,” Alfred said, and Haplo didn’t miss his small cringe as he said the name. “He told me your people… Down Below, had. Well. Plans.” He pursed his lips, troubled. “Armageddon,” he clarified. “The Antichrist. The end of the world.”

Haplo leaned against the bridge’s railing, the metal warm beneath his palms. He felt Alfred’s eyes on him as he breathed in and out. “What do you expect me to say?” he said at last.

Alfred nodded. “You did know, then.”

“Of course I knew,” Haplo said. He wasn’t like Alfred, after all. Haplo was a very high-ranking demon, especially after that initial temptation in Eden. He wasn’t on earth as a punishment, but because he had chosen the assignment for himself. Hanging out on earth, he had discovered, was a lot more fun than hanging around giving orders in Hell. On earth, he was practically a free agent, and that was exactly how he liked it.

Alfred’s large hands were clasped in front of him. “So it’s true, then. This is the end of things.”

Haplo shrugged. “The end of this place, sure.” Alfred nodded sadly. There was something, Haplo thought, about the fact that Alfred apparently took his word for it over Samah’s. Not that he could really blame him; Alfred’s superior was infuriating even compared to other angels.

“And the Final Battle…” Alfred trailed off, and now his sadness was laced with worry.

Haplo figured he knew why. He’d seen the angel in combat, after all. Alfred had barely survived the first war. Even if Heaven won that battle-- which they wouldn’t, of course-- the final battle between Heaven and Hell certainly didn’t look good for him.

“I guess it was going to happen eventually,” he said at last.

“I guess it was,” Alfred agreed. “I suppose I just didn’t think it would be so soon.”

It had been six thousand years, but again, Haplo understood. Humans never stopped being interesting, infuriating, innovative, and impressive in their endless well of virtues and evils alike. In light of that, and compared to eternity, six thousand years really was nothing.

“Well,” he said, “we’ve got eleven years until then to wrap things up.”

“Yes,” Alfred sighed. “It just doesn’t seem right, does it? I mean… they have no idea.” He gestured around the park, to the various humans inhabiting the park.

“They never do."

“And I’ll… I’ll miss it,” Alfred continued. “Earth. All of it.” He turned his head towards Haplo. “Won’t you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll miss earth too, won’t you?”

Haplo took a heavy breath. “I’m not like you, angel,” he said. “With your books and fancy teashops and whatever else it is you do in your spare time.”

“No,” Alfred allowed. “But there are other things. Your bike, your garden. All the interesting things humans make, and being outside in nature itself.”

All things Haplo did enjoy. Not that he had ever explicitly mentioned them to Alfred. You picked things up in six thousand years. “It was going to happen eventually,” he repeated, unable to think of anything else. “Last battle between Heaven and Hell and all that. And we’re going to win, make no mistake.”

Some demons were apathetic about the war; they had Fallen more by mistake than anything. Haplo was not one of those demons. Heaven was stifling and pretentious, the powers that be always talking about some Great Plan that didn’t seem to be all that great (or even really much of a plan, if you asked Haplo), and expecting unquestioning loyalty. Well, Haplo had not only questioned, but demanded answers. He hadn’t gotten any, but he had Fallen along with all the others, and when the time came, he had chosen his side and he would choose it again. He’d be quite glad to do so, as a matter of fact.

Alfred only waved a hand. “Well, yes. I understand that. Though you shouldn’t count Heaven out so easily, I don’t think,” he added, almost as an afterthought. “But…” It was a heavy “but,” and Alfred seemed to realize that, for he hesitated. “I just don’t see what earth has to do with all that,” he finally finished.

Haplo raised his eyebrows. “No? Why do you think we’ve been here all these years if earth has nothing to do with it?”

Alfred shook his head. “Oh, I know why our sides are interested in souls and converting and tempting and all that. That’s free will in action. Humans being human. And this, here, is the only place where that can happen,” he said, waving his hands wildly as if to gesture towards the whole planet. “So what I don’t understand is why the earth itself has to be destroyed.”

Haplo hummed, finding he didn’t have a proper retort. Alfred was looking down at the water below, where the ducks were still gathered, obviously hoping for another handful of oats.

After a few moments of this, Haplo had had enough. “Come on, then,” he said, turning his back and taking a few steps back the way he’d come.

Alfred turned, confused. “Where are we going?”

Haplo glanced over his shoulder with a shrug. “Last eleven years? I’m going to get a lot of food and then a lot of alcohol. Since we were talking about things earth got right and all.”

Alfred paused, then broke into a reluctant grin. “You do owe me from last century, technically.”

“Yeah,” Haplo agreed. “Paying it back now. Let’s go, angel.”

And so they departed, the dog yipping excitedly around Alfred’s feet. Haplo shook his head. There really was something wrong with a hellhound who got on so easily with an angel. Then again, some voice in the back of his mind chided, glass houses and throwing stones and all that.

* * *

There was a time when Haplo wouldn’t have dared ever allow himself to be inebriated in front of the Adversary. Even if he had trusted Alfred at all, it was unbecoming of a demon of his rank. Improper. His superiors would have rightly disapproved, and it would set a bad example for the lower ranks. But after six thousand years of relatively little interference from Below, things like that stopped mattering so much. Food was food and alcohol was alcohol, and both were a lot more fun to partake in with a companion. Especially when he could set aside his jacket without worrying about keeping his tattoos properly hidden from mortal eyes.

The tattoos, which were red and blue and ran almost entirely across his body, mostly consisted of demonic sigils, but the real problem was that left to their own devices, they took on an unearthly glow. A bit too obvious even for the obliviousness of the human mind.

It was also a nice bonus if one’s companion happened to be the owner of a cozy bookshop within easy reach, with some choice vintages in the back room that he was all too willing to share. Not that Haplo was speaking from experience or anything.

But he had made himself comfortable on the old sofa in the middle of full bookshelves, his leather jacket resting on a coat rack by the front door, already pleasantly drunk-- not wasted, neither of them tended to let themselves get that far gone, no matter how much they had drunk, which was another advantage of being a supernatural being-- and having a very cheerful discussion about Falling while Alfred sipped at his own glass, cheeks flushed.

“Could be your last chance, you know,” Haplo was saying. “It’s not really so bad.”

Alfred gave a little huff, shaking his head. “I don’t think tempting is quite in the spirit of our alliance, my dear,” he said, only sounding slightly reproachful.

Haplo snorted. “Tempting. I’m not tempting anyone and we both know it.” He let his head roll back and shook it lazily. No, if he were out to tempt Alfred, this wasn’t how he’d go about it. “As if someone like you would ever actually Fall,” he said with another snicker.

Alfred stared off into space for a second and then seemed to recollect himself, giving a hesitant laugh of his own. “I’ve always supposed the only thing I would be worse at than being an angel is being a Fallen angel.”

Which wasn’t what Haplo had meant at all, and he stared at Alfred’s pathetic attempt at a smile with a bit of irritation. Alfred always had been an emotional drunk. And this always happened when Samah deigned to visit.

Ugh, Samah. “True,” Haplo muttered. “And the only thing worse than eternity in Hell is eternity with a bunch of self-righteous angels.”

“Oh, you mustn’t blame them. It is in the job description, a little bit,” Alfred said, adding a literal handwave for good measure. "The righteous bit, that is." Then he blinked, as if realizing something. “I thought you would want to be going back to Hell.”

If Haplo had been sober, he probably would have shut down that line of questioning instantly. As it was, he rolled his eyes. “Pft, no,” he said hazily. “Everything that isn’t on fire is dark and damp and moldy.” He twisted his lip. “The smell alone, really…”

He wasn’t all that fond of the place, truth be told. It wasn’t just the aesthetics of it, either. Heaven had always been stifling, sure, but if pressed, Haplo might just admit that Hell could be just as bad, in that sense. He shifted in his seat, suddenly somewhat uncomfortable.

But Alfred was hardly paying attention, just smiling down at his wine glass. “It’s no earth, is it?”

“That’s for sure,” Haplo said, full of a sudden, inexplicable relief. This was another reason he still did this with Alfred, from time to time. Alfred, angel though he was, was the only other being who understood the earth for what it was. No other beings knew the place as well as the pair of them. Humans didn’t live long enough to really experience it, and few other angels or demons particularly cared to. To them, it was some great chessboard, and not much more. In that sense, Haplo felt a bit of ownership over the place.

Not for much longer, though. In eleven years, the whole place would be destroyed. He’d seen to it, himself.

“Shame it has to end so soon, really,” he finally said, and he shouldn’t have, and he knew it, but it wasn’t a lie.

Alfred nodded, swirling his glass around with a heavy frown. “What if it didn’t?”

“What do you mean?” Haplo asked idly, but Alfred was intent now, his eyebrows were furrowed as he put his glass down. The angel shuddered, and when he looked at Haplo, it was with entirely sober eyes, clear and blue as the sky earlier in the afternoon.

“You too, you too,” he prompted, nudging at Haplo urgently.

Haplo grumbled. “Angel,” he complained.

“This is important,” Alfred insisted.

Haplo glared at him, but when he didn’t relent, Haplo grumpily set down his own glass and forced himself to sober up as well. “What is it?” he snapped when the last dregs of alcohol had been burned from his body.

“What if the world didn’t have to end now?”

Alfred was leaning forward, deadly serious. Haplo frowned, pushing back the hair that had fallen into his face while he had been drinking. “What are you insinuating?”

“It will be the child that brings it all about?”

“Apparently,” Haplo said, still totally bemused. “What, you want to kill a little kid?” Fat chance of that. Haplo still remembered Alfred’s face during that whole business with the ark and the flood. He’d found the angel later, and it was the first time he’d ever seen him that wasted, rocking back and forth and murmuring about Samah.

Indeed, after his comment Alfred was looking at him as if he couldn’t fathom what kind of angel would ever consider murdering even the Antichrist herself. “Don’t be absurd,” he exclaimed. “But… did she seem particularly… occult?”

Haplo shrugged, still unsure where Alfred was going with this. “Seemed like a normal baby to me.” Other than the unfortunate name she had been given, but what else could you expect from Satanists? There had been a baby boy born there too, that day, and they’d convinced the parents to name that one Bane, of all things.

Alfred hummed. “A perfectly normal child.” His eyes sparked. “A perfectly normal human.”

“What are you getting at?”

Alfred stood. “Nature and nurture,” he pronounced.

Haplo stared at him blankly for a moment. Then took a very deep, very exhausted breath. “Alfred,” he said slowly. “Tell me you’re not seriously thinking of trying to raise the Antichrist, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Spawn of Satan, Lady of Darkness, et cetera, et cetera, to be an angel.”

“Why not?” Alfred insisted, proving that he really had gone completely mad out of fear of the inevitable end of things. “Even Lucifer himself was an angel once. Even you--”

“I’m going to stop you there,” Haplo interrupted, but Alfred hardly seemed to be paying attention. He had hopped over to the bookcases with uncharacteristic agility and was now scrambling around, digging for books. Haplo glimpsed a couple he had already picked out, cradled in his arms, and yes, those were definitely parenting books stacking up so quickly.

“Are you kidding?”

Alfred paused in his search, then turned around, staring at Haplo very seriously. “I have to do something, don’t I?” he said, spoken like a challenge.

It was a rare state the angel was in, but at the same time, it was exactly the angel Haplo knew. He really hadn’t changed much, not since he got demoted twice over in quick succession-- first during the war, and then again for handing the flaming sword he’d been issued right over to the first human he’d spotted who had need of it. If Haplo were the type to put any stock into Ineffability, he would say that perhaps Alfred, though originally a seraphim of the highest order, always had been a Principality-- a protector, a guardian-- at his heart.

And suddenly a decision had been made for him, without Haplo ever consciously having made it. “Well,” he said, standing, “I guess I’ll have to stop you, then.”

Alfred stumbled, looking at his sworn adversary with sudden guilt. “What?” he said nervously.

“You know how this works, angel,” Haplo said, crossing his arms. His tattoos glowed as he eyed Alfred appraisingly. “You guide humans to the light, and I return them to darkness.” He let that sink in, then shrugged airily. “You said it yourself. She’ll be a perfectly normal human.”

Alfred’s smile grew slowly until he was absolutely beaming. “You’re going to help me?” he asked, sounding giddy.

“No,” Haplo said firmly. “I’m going to thwart your plan to turn the Antichrist into an angelic being. And…” he shrugged again. “I guess if that has the side effect of keeping her a little more human… the end of the world will just have to wait until next time.”

Alfred’s smile was bright as the sun. “Godfathers it is, then,” he said cheerfully.

Haplo snorted. He sat back again, watching Alfred toss parenting books on the coffee table, wine bottles forgotten, chattering away. Godfathers, his mind echoed. He shook his head, reaching for more alcohol. It was absolutely ridiculous. But he supposed there were worse ways to spend what might be your last eleven years on earth.

If nothing else, it would certainly be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Exploiting Crowley's tendency to call Aziraphale "angel" and Haplo's tendency to call Alfred "Sartan"? It's more likely than you think.


	10. Marit Proposes to Haplo, Kind of, Sort of, They're Patryns You Know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marit and Haplo have a moment to rest after the closure of Death's Gate.
> 
> Additional tags:  
> Haplo/Marit  
> Proposal  
> Post-canon  
> Coda  
> Xar is a dick

Outside the Final Gate, hundreds of Patryns were already hard at work, setting up small tents and huts that would serve as temporary shelters.

Haplo and Alfred had both tried to help: two cities of Patryns and a handful of Abarrach Sartan had been evacuated from their lands, not to mention the city of white-robed Sartan who had marched just out of sight, and there was plenty of work to be done.

It was Marit who had insisted they at least sit down a moment first. Alfred was spent, having more difficulty walking in a straight line than usual. And Haplo was still covered in his own blood, Marit said briskly, though Haplo saw a flicker of pain and worry as she did so.

It was that flicker that had made him rest a comforting hand on her shoulder and allow himself to sit beside her, clean himself off, and then rest for a moment. As they sat, their backs pressed against the very wall that separated them from the ruins of the Nexus.

Alfred had taken a spot beside him, and quickly fallen asleep. Haplo could hardly blame him. After what he had managed today, it was a wonder he had regained consciousness as soon as he had.

He said as much to Marit, and noticed her lips press together as she looked down at the sleeping Sartan. “It’s been a difficult few days for all of us,” she said.

That it had, and now Haplo wondered what exactly had happened between the battle at Abri and the two of them coming to rescue him in Abarrach. Perhaps, when Alfred had woken up, they would have to go over all that had happened. There were some details that Haplo still wasn’t sure about, himself, and Marit must have plenty of questions.

For now, he let it rest. He enjoyed the silence between them, broken occasionally by an odd comment here or there, but mostly just allowing himself a moment to think. About Death’s Gate, closed, and Hugh the Hand, dead, and the future, changed forever. Xar’s face came back to him, his final moments.

“Who’s been leading the Patryns?” he asked her. “With Xar gone.”

Marit’s eyes opened, scanning the Patryns bustling around. She nodded her head towards a small group at the edge of the improvised shelters. “There,” she said, “the tall one in that group over there.”

Haplo recognized the Patryn in question, though he couldn’t think of their name. They’d been one of Xar’s most trusted, as well. 

He said as much to Marit, who nodded. “They took the lead soon after the evacuation. They bore Xar’s mark.”

Haplo’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?” The way she said it sounded like… but he must be mistaken. “Do you mean like a rune-binding?” he finally asked, fully expecting to be wrong.

Marit’s silence told him otherwise. “Oh,” he said. What else was there to say?

Marit shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t know that they’d accept me as a leader, anyway, considering.” She glanced at Haplo, and then down again to the sleeping figure beside them. “Or that I’d want it,” she finished. She spoke easily, but Haplo could sense a tension in her body.

Haplo couldn’t quite read all that she was feeling: anger, perhaps, or humiliation, as she revealed how she had been betrayed by Xar yet again. As for himself, an odd mix of emotions came over Haplo: anger, betrayal, concern, guilt, grief, sadness. In the end, love and concern won out, and he reached out his arm to hold her closer to him.

She leaned against him, a little more relaxed than she had been.

“You could challenge it, if you wanted,” Haplo said after a long few moments. “You have the same right to it.” The words, practical though they were, left him slightly bitter.

Marit shook her head without a moment to think about it. No doubt she had already considered such a thing. She was quiet for some time, and Haplo felt her warmth against his side, finding comfort in her slow breaths.

“There is only one man I would claim as my husband,” she said, then.

Haplo blinked. Surprised, at first, and then touched. They had never used those words, between them, or done anything to acknowledge the partnership they had fallen into. But he had thought about it. He’d thought about it more, recently, as he’d thought about the past, and about their daughter. But he hadn’t been sure what Marit thought. Especially now, with everything so new and uncertain.

He swallowed, holding her closer against him still. “Would you?” he asked, his voice soft.

“I would,” she said, simply. “I won’t lose you again. Whatever happens.”

Haplo closed his eyes. “Whatever happens,” he echoed. A promise.


	11. The One With a Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio adopts a baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional Tags:  
> Post-canon  
> Family

Haplo has already had a hand in adopting multiple children, all orphans of the Labyrinth like him, but none nearly so young as this girl. Marit had found her in the arms of her older brother, a young Patryn boy who had gripped her protectively against his chest. Starting today, they have a new home, in the Nexus, where the boy sleeps and Haplo watches Marit and Alfred pass the baby between them and feels his throat tighten at the sight.

“Do you want to hold her?” Alfred asks, and Haplo is glad that Marit has left to check on their other children at that particular second, because he can’t keep the alarm he feels at the suggestion off of his face and he’s sure Marit would laugh to see him. Alfred just smiles, knowingly, gently, and Haplo might not trust himself to know what he’s doing, but he trusts Alfred. So he lets Alfred place the baby in his arms, shifting awkwardly to accommodate her. He’s not worried about dropping her, exactly. He just can’t shake the feeling that he’s doing something wrong.

But Alfred doesn’t seem concerned, and before he knows it, Haplo’s sitting with the warm bundle, looking down at her.

She’s so small. Not a newborn, but young. Not even walking yet. He’s thought about it, already, how as she gets older, she won’t have any memories of the Labyrinth. She’ll be told how her brother carried her through it, determined to keep her safe, but she herself will only remember the safety of the Nexus. In his arms, Haplo can read her name, written in ink over the tiny dip of her chest. In a few years, he and Marit will teach her to complete the tattoos on her skin.

He realizes he’s smiling, and rather soppily, at that. He doesn’t mind.

He hears Marit reenter, then stop. When he looks up, she’s standing at the doorway, watching them: a child sleeping, a Patryn holding his child, a Sartan beside them, watching over the rest. “What a sweet picture you all make,” she says. Not with a playful smirk, but with soft warmth in her eyes. She joins them, then, sitting between Alfred and the child sleeping at the end of the sofa. “At least until they wake up,” she murmurs wryly, resting her chin on Alfred’s shoulder to look down at the baby again.

Haplo knows exactly how right she is. It’s a small price to pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've wanted to add something to this but haven't been able to decide what. After picking between a couple ideas, this is what came out. I can't even apologize for the fluff, seeing as that's literally what this whole compilation is about. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> [Wonder Woman gasp] A baby!


End file.
